I think about writing more often than I actually do.
My birthday was February 9th. Chris took me out and my parents watched the girls. We had a gift card we’d received at Christmas and were waiting to use it, it was to the Melting Pot! I’d never been, but heard wonderful things. We got dressed up, we ate and ate and ate some more…and we still ended up spending money of our own on top of the gift card! But it was my birthday and it was memorable. Sometimes I think you just have to allow yourself the opportunity to splurge! Chris made it so special for me. And he also got me a present! I don’t have a photo of it but it is a silver business card holder with a crown on the front, all blinged out! So pretty! And I use it everyday to give someone a business card for Golden Years! Which is going fabulously, by the way! Sure we have our struggles but God provides for all our needs and we are just making our way, every single day. Chris works hard. We are seeing the benefits from that and it is starting to become a thrill to wake up in the morning and hear that business phone ring!
That Saturday, the 13th, my mom and sis and I took the girls up to the Assisted Living center to see Papa. He is my mom’s daddy, and she’s been taking care of him, but the family decided he needed more 24 hour care. He was diagnosed with beginnings of dementia and his body was becoming weak. He lacked the ability to stand and was given a wheelchair. Also, a recent scan had showed a spot on his liver. This was suspected as cancerous, but because of his age and frailty, there was nothing they could do medically. We, along with his wife, Alene, decided not to even tell him. There was no point in worrying him for nothing. The girls were confused at first because they’d never seen Papa in a wheelchair. He also had stubble on his chin and in my perception, his face looked, well, different. He spoke very little and dozed in between the girls’ dancing around him and conversations about what he’d had for breakfast. He seemed happy to see us, but the glimmer we were used to seeing in his eyes just wasn’t there anymore. He looked tired. He looked weak. That’s not the Papa I knew. I hid behind Trinity, who was sitting in my lap, while I wiped a tear away under my glasses. He was dying. It was hard to hear him speak of something that happened that morning as if it happened last week. I commented on how nice the facility was and I pushed his wheelchair to the dining hall for lunch. He laughed with us as Brooke told us how he can eat four apple fritters in a sitting. I told him next week I’ll send Chris up with some fritters for him. He laughed and I thought to myself that I should cherish that time. The girls started to get restless so I decided it would be best to keep the visit short. I had the girls say their goodbyes and I kissed him on the forehead and told him I loved him. He said he loved me too and we walked to the van and drove away. Papa died the next day. On Valentine’s Day. I can’t be certain because I know he was alone in his bed, asleep when he passed, but I’m sure the thought process went something like this. ”Hmmm. I’m tired. I think I’ll take a nap. And Lord, if you’re ready, I’m ready. Take me home.” At 7 pm, the nurses came to wake him for his meds and he was gone. At peace, asleep, in his bed. What a peaceful passing and how romantic to know that he went to see Grandmother on Valentines’ Day! Of course I cried and cried. It hit me several times during the week that he was really gone. I cried when I saw him at the viewing and I cried at the funeral when they sang his favorite songs, old time hymns like “I’ll Fly Away.” We laughed as we recalled how he would dance with the grandkids and great-grandkids. He was always dancing. Even at 86 he was dancing. And knowing that I got a lot of my extrovert personality and silliness from Papa, well I can say with about 99 % certainty that he hated that wheelchair. He wanted to dance! I’m sure the first thing he did when he saw Jesus was dance!
As sad as it was to help my mother now bury both of her parents, I do know that we all feel God was merciful to Papa and to us, to not let him suffer here on earth any longer. Daddy said Papa had told him “I’m ready to go home” about a week before he passed. So how can I really grieve when I know where he is? As Daddy always says, “It is not goodbye, it’s see you later.” There is a sharp pain in my heart when I think of my sweet Gracie asking me through warm salty tears, “but who is going to dance with me?” She loved him so much. The girls both did well at the funeral but I hated to see Gracie lose someone she loved so young. She did fine until they opened the casket and she saw him laying there. We explained to her that everything that makes Papa, Papa, is in heaven. His spirit and his personality are gone. The body is left because it’s like the clothes we wear. The clothes just come off and we are able to go to God without worrying about our old body-clothes getting in the way. I think she understands. She is only six and that is a lot for her, but she is so smart and spiritually mature. I look forward to talking with her when she’s older about her perceptions as a child. I know she will remember this and how she felt. She is so passionate and bright.
Speaking of the Gracie girl, we just celebrated her birthday with a sleepover at Grandmommy and Grandpa’s house! She invited four friends, and Aunt Brooke and Grandmommy stayed to help me out with the chaos! Oh, and Trinity, too, because she is surprisingly very loved by all Gracie’s friends. It was a great time for everyone! We played Monopoly Jr, had a dance party, made our own mini pizzas, watched a movie, I read Junie B Jones to everyone for a bedtime story, and we had a super cool cake! I have been wanting to experiment with fondant so I tried my hand. I have to say, it’s messy, but it’s much easier and more enjoyable than I imagined! I like playing with Play-Doh and so it was fun for me! And it came out super cute~!
Gracie doesn’t officially turn 7 until Tuesday. Since she and Jack, a friend in her class, share a birthday, Jack’s mom and I decided to split the “snack duty”–we ordered super girly princess cookies for Miss Gracie and all the girls, and manly cookies to honor Jack and his male classmates. I think it will be really cute. I hope to go up to the school and snap some photos.
Okay, and not to dwell on it at ALL, but I have to share that when Papa passed away, his bed at the assisted living was the guest bedroom in their house. It was not bought by Alene or Papa, but by my beloved Grandmother, years before. I remember spending the night with Grandmother and Papa in the house in Val Verde and that big brass bed was where we’d sleep after we had a bubble bath in the whirlpool tub! Grandmother would turn it down for us and we would jump in! The bed was heavy, decorative cream and brass. It was gorgeous. I always loved it. Well, it is now in my bedroom. I kept our mattress since it is new, but the bed was just so beautiful and I am honored to have inherited it. The first night we slept in it, I cried and prayed and asked God to please let them know that I have it now, and thank you. I know they would be happy to know it came to me. They both knew the memories I have of that bed and how I cherished my time spending the night with them.
So all in all, we are doing fine. Ever changing, constantly busy, but loving every moment of this chaotic and wonderful life. We never know how many days we have but we should treasure each one!
My Papa and his bride. Jack Melton, Sr. and Vera Maye Melton
Papa and his Great granddaughter, Gracie, doing some kind of crazy dance at Christmas in 2006:
Papa and his girls, the day before he passed away.
Me and Chris at the Melting Pot:
The girls at the birthday party, Left to right: Kodi, Maya, Gracie, Arwyn and Molly:
Close up of the cake:
